Your body knows how to relax, it is part of your wiring. In the past when you have been in a deep sleep, your body was completely relaxed. Your muscles were very relaxed, and you were breathing slowly and deeply. Although relaxation is natural, being able to relax when you want to is a skill. Any skill takes practice. Coaches in any sport don’t just teach skills, they have the players practice the skill over and over again. Part of the reason for this is because sports involve body learning, which is different from book learning. Body learning requires repetition to reinforce the nerve connections involved in the skill. Relaxation training also involves body learning, so practice is very important.
There are many different relaxation techniques, and there is not one that is the best since people are so different. What works best for one person may not work at all for someone else. Progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, diaphragmatic breathing, audio guided relaxation, and others are all good techniques. Whichever technique you use, practice is very important. Remember that relaxing when you want to is a skill, and skills take practice. This skill in particular is one that involves body learning, so practice is even more important. When a skill that involves body learning is practiced often enough, it becomes second nature. It can be hard to concentrate when you are anxious, and this can make it more difficult to practice any skill. The more you practice relaxation when you don’t feel you need it, the more useful it will be to you when you do need it, because it has become second nature, and your body knows what you want it to do. Skills also become easier the more you practice, so practice, practice, practice.