With an anxiety disorder, our nervous systems are on guard and looking for danger, and in social relationships this translates into mistrust. The mistrust makes it seem better to keep everyone at a distance and leads to avoiding people by isolating. This avoidance by isolation increases anxiety. Confronting social avoidance means taking some risks in allowing others to earn your trust. We know from research that isolation is bad for your health, and social support is good for your health. Social support can decrease anxiety, while not making use of available social support when we need it, can increase our anxiety. A lot of us have trouble asking for help, and asking for social support when we need it is another skill that many of us need to practice more.
Current social influences can affect our anxiety in the area of assertiveness. Assertiveness is contrasted with passiveness and aggressiveness. Being passive means we let others’ needs come before our own even if we suffer as a result. Being aggressive means we put ourselves first even if others suffer. Assertiveness is the healthy middle ground between those two in which we stand up for our own rights while respecting the rights of others. This is a skill in which our body language must match our assertive words. This skill is especially important when we encounter “users”, people who like to take advantage of others and want a relationship that is all take on their part and no give.
Stigma is another social factor that can affect anxiety. Stigma reflects the ignorance of some people who have misconceptions about mental health problems such as anxiety disorders. I have never encountered anyone who asked to have serious anxiety problems. It is something that happens to people and to which nobody is immune, just as anyone could get heart disease or cancer. We can understand that stigma is out there but we don’t have to buy into it. We can hold our heads high as we work on gaining control over our anxiety.